King of the Castle

Sometimes we get so caught up in the ever evolving era of technology and modern ways of living that we forget to take time out to go back and visit our roots, finding out just what our ancestors got up to all those years ago. I am so fortunate to live in such a contrasting city when it comes to integrating modern living with the historic architecture of the past. Lincoln castle was built by William the conqueror in hundreds of years ago in the 11th century and just stepping inside the grounds is like being transported into a different time era. It's actually hard to believe that the castle would once have housed a king and would have been bustling with life inside of the walls.

After spending a few moments admiring the picturesque backdrop, we decided to take a walk along the old and incredibly photogenic castle walls, something that I actually quite enjoyed considering that I am absolutely terrified of heights and it was pretty darn windy (typical Lincolnshire weather unfortunately), but it was totally worth it for such breathtaking panoramic views of the surrounding cathedral, city and countryside. The peacefulness and serenity really helps you to forget about the stresses of life for a few moments and indulge in the feeling of being on top of the world.

I absolutely love history and finding out more about the world around us. I actually see myself as part of this lucky generation who were born early enough to experience the simplicity of life before the sudden technology boom but late enough to see all of the wonderful benefits of modernisation and technology in the 21st century, although I do always secretly wish that smart people would hurry up and invent a time machine so that I could go back and see what life was like before I was born. Whether you are interested in finding out more about the past, or just want a picturesque backdrop for photographs, then I definitely recommend visiting Lincoln!

Twenty One

As you may or may not know I happened to hit the ripe old age of 21 a few days ago. Oh how time seems to fly by.. I have been roaming around on this earth for 21 whole years, something that seems so surreal to say considering that it only feels like yesterday I was celebrating my 16th birthday. I can confirm that being 21 doesn't really feel drastically different from being 20 other than the fact I can legally adopt a child, become a pilot and enjoy a gambling trip to Vegas (one for the bucket list), but a 21st birthday is considered as quite a momentous milestone in England, usually signifying the daunting but exciting beginning to adult life, even though (believe it or not) I have obviously been doing plenty of independent *grown-up* like things for a while now, especially since starting university a year ago.

The 20's seem to have become this period of discovery in life for finding one's self, the time to truly uncover who you are now and what you want to become in the future while you are still young and relatively free from responsibilities. Like many other young adults I personally have no idea what I want to do with my life, it feels so daunting to think about committing yourself to this future pathway which will determine careers, finances, relationships and ultimately your happiness. As a young adult the world is your oyster, you are not obligated to stick to the same pathway, change is always possible. I believe that we were all put onto this earth to follow our own personal dreams and aspirations, no matter what age you happen to be when you finally set your heart on one particular thing.

Naturally there have been many ups and downs throughout the years but I truly feel like I have learnt so many life lessons from my younger years, growing enormously both in confidence and maturity to become the person that I am today. As you grow older you start to realise that certain aspects of life are all about quality over quantity, I feel like I am actually starting to surround myself with people in my life who really matter, I am so lucky to have such a supportive and loving family, motivating and caring friends and to be part of such an inspiring blogging community, a hobby that I didn't expect to find so much enjoyment and comfort in when I first started a couple of years ago. One of the best things about having a blog is being able to share certain milestones and achievements within life and look back every now and again to reminisce in all of the memories that you have collected over the years.

I actually quite like the person that I am right now, which is definitely not something I would have been able to say a few years ago. Obviously there is still so much more growing up and learning to do. This is only the beginning of a great journey, I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for me, hopefully the best is yet to come!


Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement. 

I often find myself in this constant and frustrating battle with my mind when it comes to portraying a sense of confidence in social situations and maintaining a certain level of self-belief in myself as a person. It's a difficult feeling to describe, almost like you desperately want to throw yourself into social situations, try new things and conquer new challenges in life but you're being held back in your comfort zone by these doubts about self worth and ability.

I always try to have this positive mentality when it comes to life, to use other people's success and amazing talents as a form of motivation to inspire and better myself as a person, but despite this I find that sometimes I see others achieve things that I see as far beyond anything that I could ever muster up and I begin to lose confidence in my own ability. I have always been a perfectionist at everything that I attempt in life, and all of my fellow perfectionists out there will know that it can sometimes make everything seem so hopelessly tedious and frustrating, especially when you can't help but compare yourself to other people. Seeing someone do, create, have or achieve something far superior to what I believe that I can really intimidates me, whether it happens to be blogging or life related.

Another struggle that I have in life, and have been too ashamed to admit for far too long, is that this real anxiety when it comes to social situations, especially when feeling overly tired and stressed (which happens to be a lot when you're a student), and I feel like this constantly holds me back when it comes to both blogging and life in general. I sometimes feel like I put on this appearance of fake confidence when it comes to approaching strangers, getting along with people and social situations but I lack this self confidence when it comes to my personality, image, and overthinking the way that I portray myself which leads to me constantly declining exciting and probably enjoyable opportunities, even ones related to blogging, on a daily basis because of this tiny fear at the back of my mind of being judged or embarrassing myself, which can also become super frustrating. I always joke that I could literally write a long book on 'how to be awkward in social situations' using all of the experience that I have but sadly it is true, and I always get it into my head that this will decrease my likeability as a person and a blogger. I tend to shy away from most social situations where possible and live life well within my comfort zone which can become a real lonely way to exist if you let it overcome you. I do suffer from the same fear of missing out as other people but just lack the conviction and confidence to do anything about it because of this little anxiety at the back of my mind, holding me back from getting the most out of life... and I want that to change.

*takes a deep breath*

...and now to the positive section of the blog post.

I want to make a commitment to myself.. well several commitments actually. It may seem like such easy promises to make to yourself for some people but I see it as little achievable goals to accomplish one baby step at a time, in order to take control of my life and making myself a much happier person in the process.
1. I am determined to stop worrying so much about what other people think and trying to seek this external validation from others to determine my self worth as a person. In fact, to stop worrying so much in general. I waste so much of my life thinking about the repercussions of my actions and the things that could go wrong in situations in the future which haven't even happened yet, rather than just taking a step back and actually enjoying living in the moment. I have slowly begun to realise that the most important thing in life is the ability to achieve happiness. As long as you are genuinely happy and content with everything in your life, no matter how big or how small, then who really cares about anybody else's opinion.

2. I will overcome my anxiety towards social situations and actively try to become more social and outgoing, even if it means gradually easing myself into it because practice makes perfect right? At the end of the day, nobody is perfect and most of the time everyone has enough insecurities about themselves to worry too much about any of yours. It's sounds so cliché but I am a strong believer of just being yourself and like-minded people will gravitate towards you.

3. It is my goal to try and find the positives, even in the most negative of situations. Every failure or mistake is an invaluable lesson learnt and everything in life happens for a reason. Just because the past didn't turn out how you wanted, doesn't mean that your future cant be better than you ever imagined.
4. I will challenge myself to become more outgoing, say yes to a lot more opportunities and start experiencing more of the wonders of life while I'm still young and free from those pesky little commitments that come along as you begin to grow older. Life doesn't have to be taken so seriously all of the time, they say that those unexpected and spontaneous experiences are always the best and most of the time, when you take a chance and leave your comfort zone, you will end up thanking yourself for it later.

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