Stand Up To Bullying

Bullying is defined as 'the use of force, threat or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others, the behaviour often being repeated and habitual'. It can involve emotional, verbal, physical or cyber forms against differences such as social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behaviour, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.

Why am I telling you this? I think it is important for people to understand that bullying is not just something that happens just in schools by some big 'jock' like kid constantly and stereotypically terrorising a 'nerd', but something that can happen absolutely everywhere to absolutely anyone, especially including online environments and even adults in the workplace. 

I had the unfortunate experience of being bullied at school, in fact it was by the person that was supposed to be my best friend. I was always that kid in school who was good at sports, getting the top grades in class and I was involved in a pretty good social circle, so not like the stereotypical image of someone who would be bullied. I know what it is like to constantly tormented every single day by this guy who emotionally, verbally and physically bullied me and the worst thing is that everyone could see it happening right in front of them but nobody stood up for me, in fact they ended up joining in due to 'group mentality'. I thought that I had nobody to go to, my best friend was the bully and I was far too embarrassed to tell my parents or the teachers. Eventually I started to think that it was all my fault and that something was wrong with me. I would avoid being the centre of attention, fail tests on purpose to become more accepted and became paranoid, upset and depressed all because I let this one guy make me doubt my self worth.

I am really passionate about wanting to help people understand that it's okay to stand up to bullying and not make the same mistakes that I did, plus I want to contribute by educating people on the different aspects of it to put an end to bullying in any way possible. Remember that you are always a much better person than a bully, especially considering that a big factor which usually leads to bullies picking on an individual are envy and resentment of a certain feature and they tend to use it as a cowardly tool to conceal some sort off shame or problem of their own or to boost self-esteem. There is never an excuse to take away somebody else's happiness to boost your own pride and image, and never let anyone else make you doubt your self worth.

Studies always seem to say that a 'typical' victim is likely to lack social skills, be noticeably rejected and isolated by peers and have certain characteristics such as being physically weak and unstable emotionally. Although this may be true, it is not always the case. Anyone can be subject to bullying, especially in our generation with how big cyber bullying has become. In my opinion you should never take anything someone else online says seriously, they dont truly know you and trust me, anybody that sits there behind a keyboard trying to make another person's life a misery is a complete coward with nothing better to do with their life. Its a easier said than done but life gets a whole lot easier when you stop worrying about what other people think about you, use negative comments as motivation to make yourself into a better, stronger person.

You may have come across the term 'bystander' before, which is where bullying takes place in front of a large group of uninvolved people and the bully creates this illusion of having the support of the majority watching, creating this fear to 'speak out' in protest of the bullying happening, even when everybody knows it's wrong. This leads to bullying becoming accepted or even supported. Being a bystander is just as bad as the bullying itself so it is extremely important to speak out against any form of bullying that you see happening, you're not being a snitch, you are potentially saving someone from a whole lot of physical and emotional pain. Similarly if you are the one being bullied, DO NOT suffer in silence like I did, the best thing that you can do is tell somebody you trust about it, 9 times out of 10 people will have the sense to see that you're suffering and help advise you on how to do something about it and I guarantee you things will get better. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to there is the National Bullying Helpline 08452255787 who will help and advise you through your situation, and of course I am always happy to help in anyway possible if you need a friendly confidential chat to somebody for advice.

'Stay true to yourself, it is most often the people that mock you now who tend to copy you later'

It is important to remember that bullying is NEVER okay and NEVER the victim's fault. I wish that I could go back and tell my younger self to stand up to this bully or tell somebody about what was happening and to be myself no matter what anybody else thinks. Be nice to people, help somebody that is going through a tough time and speak out in protest against any form of bullying. Don't let someone change who you are as a person or bring you down just to make themselves feel better because of an underlying sense of jealousy. No matter what anybody else thinks you are special, you are unique and you are perfect. Believe in yourself. Together we can make a difference and put an end to bullying.

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